“You’ve Got Mail” is absolutely my FAVORITE rom-com of all!
Nora Ephron really hopped on the cyber-relationship train just as it was really starting to roll along. She subtly put in all the dangers as casual conversational jokes but still kept the hopefulness and optimism intact of a genuine digital friendship.
I have had plenty of experience in digital friendships. Essentially, it has all been good conversations.
This is why I have entitled this blog “F-O-X, Fox”. This is not a blog post about digital relationships.
This is a blog post about how Tom Hanks’ character Joe Fox has this sort of clever charm and confidence I have always wanted to have.
Now I have been told I have a certain conversation charm: clever with casual jokes, a “pro” at obviously corny puns, tasteful sarcasm for fun (if the others can understand it), but overall considerate that there is another personality and person involved in the conversation.
Comfortability is always the intention. Genuine comfortability… and not just a salesman’s charm for some kind of selfish intention.
The kinds of conversations, both e-mail and in-person, Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly share are wonderfully charming. The e-mails before Joe Fox knew it was Kathleen Kelly were nice, casual, “Dear Penpal” style. Little insights in each message but not any person-revealing details (according to the “rules”).
Joe Fox’s personality is confident with a business mindset. The confidence still exists in the digital domain with his conversations with Kathleen.
It’s interesting though that there came a point after he knows it’s Kathleen, that he has a little hesitance thinking of the next thing to type just to make sure it’s honest and genuine.
Yet still, in the end, the conversation charm persists in person. I loved the interactions when they started meeting up to discuss Fox’s NY152 (still unbeknownst to Kathleen it was Joe). A bit manipulative on Joe’s part but still had its moments of charm shine through.
The conversation charm is not lost on Kathleen. Her character dynamic works well with Joe in the same way. Although, she is more of someone trying to find a voice to say exactly what she means at certain points. Of course, she gets her breakthrough and regrets it. Aside from that, the back and forth is the cute conversation most everybody wishes to have with a possible partner for a relationship.
I don’t know exactly how my tone through these blogs posts, text messages, messenger, or e-mails are perceived. It’s difficult to associate a “correct” tone in our heads as we read other people’s messages to us and that’s understandable.
To be the confident professional person with a suit and clever charm in conversation is something I have imagined often. The suit and professional look is something that may be irrelevant to what I am concerned with but imagining myself in these types of conversations in my v-neck t-shirt, cargo shorts, and Adidas shoes is difficult as it hardly happens. Maybe one day this dog will have his day.
Perhaps the depth and cleverness of conversation I want is not what I am attracting with how I look. I don’t know if it’s that or if it’s just I am among the wrong crowd of people who just don’t have time anymore for good conversation.
For me, for some reason, good conversations are hard to find now (or be welcomed into?).
“What can I say? Sometimes a guy just wants the impossible.” – Joe Fox
But I can’t force myself into any conversation. I’m not THAT good.
It’s just sometimes, I realize I haven’t had much great conversations where I can exercise an uninhibited charm and confidence in a topic. Often times, I have to spell out what my quick retort meant…
…kind of like spelling Fox. “F-O-X, Fox”. (Eh, that worked good enough to connect it =)