Fall.

There is something about fall.

I mean, I love the summer feels as much as everybody else but there is something endearing about fall.

Perhaps it’s the gradual transition to “sweater weather”. I start to wear vests and ties out as well. Perhaps that thought of cooler weather outside makes us think about the conducive situation for cuddling and snuggling. It makes me think about a nice night trip to the city, Ghirardelli Square, and having some of their hot chocolate… and in reality, it could be any cozy cafe spot at night.

My birthday right in the middle of it also makes me love fall.

Perhaps a new year for me excites me even if the standard and relativity of time is strictly psychological.

Maybe it’s not fall I am necessarily wanting to fall in love with. Maybe it’s every season transition. Maybe each transition feels like a new chance for me and I love the idea that a new chance could mean a new victory or a new direction.

Maybe the psychology of turning 30, though it seems like I should amalgamate myself into a group of people in desk jobs or somewhere in the not-so-specialized customer service ladder, is just what I need to check myself and read/watch/absorb all the things that I have been reading that are needed to get me motivated to be a new-and-improved version of me that will refresh and differentiate me. (As long as it is, I don’t think I want to cut those words in that sentence.)

Maybe it’s not fall I am wanting to fall in love with. Maybe it’s whatever the new me will be by the end of each season, and with fall approaching, I’m seeing, or at least feeling like I am getting to some point of the start of something new. I love that feeling but I don’t want it every day. I do like the feeling of phases and transitions over time so I can learn my lesson or go through the mission or process in a fulfilling fashion. Maybe it’s not fall I am wanting to fall in love with. Maybe it’s the changes in me.

If fall in this region of California was like how fall was in Michigan, I would definitely, absolutely, totally be enamored with the season alone. The thought of apple cider and donuts from the Franklin Cider Mill in Franklin, Michigan was enough to make me feel the fall love. The colors of fall were much more vibrant among the much more numerous trees there. Around here, sure, the trees turn colors but there’s not enough of them to really be in awe. We get lucky if the foothills of Mount Diablo become a rich, vibrant green to throw some color into our fall.

Maybe it’s all just a sort of sensory reaction memory. Maybe it’s the feeling I would get from a month or so into the new school year, anticipating new moments with friends new and old. Maybe it’s the time change and the nights arriving early making it seem like there’s a lot more time for making nights interesting. I guess that last one reiterates time psychology and reasons to dress up.

Maybe California’s spring and summer have become too similar and fall is the bold rebel standing up and saying “THIS SHIT HAS TO STOP!”.

So overall, it just seems like I love the change and the changes that come with it.

Whatever it may be, I excitedly (in a subdued fashion) await the falling leaves, the cool breezes, the SF city nights, Pier 39, the low clouds, hot chocolate, hearty soups, long sleeves, vests and ties, dressing up, scarves, knit caps, perhaps some gloves, pumpkin spice, Halloween, football season… and of course my birthday.

I wonder if anybody else falls in love with fall and all the possibilities like I do.

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