Extra.

Above and beyond expectation.
Exceeding the limit.

More than is required or necessary.

Imagine if you will a magician’s act. The stage – clouded in fog from the fog machines, with props like San Francisco skyscrapers peaking through the fog. The magician – dressed to the 9’s, bright colors, flowy garments, a charming formal top hat that we already know has an agenda. The assistant – candy for the eyes undeniable even from the most “ocular-diabetic” womanizer in the crowd, with an outfit that leaves little to the imagination… except for if you’re trying to imagine a quieter, moderate outfit. The props – consistently-themed, matching colors, geometrically bold, subtly deceiving.

We’ve seen simpler versions of these acts from the guy trying at a children’s birthday party, or that one uncle who always had some kind of sleight of hand or gag to show us when we were growing up. Sure, we may still not know how they did some of the things we saw but after the first few times, we didn’t care anymore. They fumbled around during their tricks and though the effect ultimately was still achieved, their unrefined flow lost us.

Now, we just paid more money than we thought we should have, to watch this guy on this bigger stage with his attractive distraction try and amaze us.

The clever interaction with the crowd as the magician tells us we’re not stupid but he’s going to try and outsmart us. The elaborate backstories of some of the more familiar tricks tells us to listen with our curiosity… as his assistant is probably setting up the gimmick prop(s). The physical arm movements flourished by sequenced finger waves. They’re small, they’re moving very expressively – continue watching them, eyes! The magic wand, being his own personal unnecessary necessity, acting as the activating agent of the mysterious powers at hand. Watch carefully where he waves it and taps it on the props because that is absolutely where nothing is happening and the “magic” is physically happening elsewhere. The result being the unexpected – it actually happened and it was too sudden to be natural!

Somehow, it was worth the money and the attention and the magician knew it would be. That’s the show – to be amazed in the most extravagant way possible.

That’s the show based on the magic of optical illusions. Exploitation of the limits of physics and especially the simple concept of line-of-sight.

You would think that by the transitive property the same could be applied elsewhere. That’s what most think. Add on top of that the examples in nature of gestures of courtship/mating or warning/threatening. The more expressive gestures with enhanced visibility by way of bright colors or attention-getting movements usually gets the message across better.

When it comes to a person expressing how they are feeling about something or someone, we tend to try poetry – the magician’s hand flourishes of language. We try gifts – the magician’s assistant to our appreciation for receiving our very own thing to look at with pleasure. We try to sell our emotional reaction – the magician’s “ta-da” moment to our understanding of how we’re appreciated or not.

I have always had an appreciation for magic. I also have had an appreciation for not making things any more complicated in communication than it has to be… and in most cases, it doesn’t have to be AT ALL.

My appreciation of magic has shown me that, like most ambitious people, I would like to evoke targeted reactions efficiently.

My appreciation for uncomplicated communication has shown me that I would like to get to the point efficiently.

“Efficiently” then means quickly and without convoluting flourishes to try and sell the idea.

Although, poetry in expression can efficiently provide an emotional understanding… that there is a genuine passion behind the words wanting to make sure the appreciation of the subject is portrayed.

Yet, there still would be the possibility that there are too many words, too many actions, too many appeasements being attempted to focus on the reality and the truth of the matter.

Extra.

“Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?!”

What is the reality of that?

Okay, I have been sold on that before but let me clarify that I was actually being sold on the desperation and probably moreso the cuteness of the girl asking me… to share some candy… back in elementary school. Damn the magician’s flourishes!

Beyond grade school and bags of candy, maturation finds us in situations where we try and explain ourselves in justifications for our errors or intentions. Our emotional angles we try to express are still flourishes to the truth of what was or what is or what we want.

Yet, there still would be the possibility that there are too many words, too many actions, too many appeasements being attempted to focus on the reality and the truth of the matter.

Extra.

There is only one reason for extra in a human-expressing-to-another-human situation and that reason is ego. One of the parties involved has their ego being an influence on the situation one way or another. Whether it’s the person selling their idea thinking the more they give, the more they get in return… or if it’s the person expecting to receive extra just to be sold on the idea that they are needed in some way for a situation to pan out as needed, as a necessity.

In situations like this, I have learned that I must use my words wisely and efficiently. These situations are usually exclusively about honesty and the truth. This isn’t a magic show. This isn’t an expectation of the quickest and most efficient distractions possible. This is the truth.

I love to come direct through my words. I love the point of a situation where the ultimate question cannot be pushed aside or deflected without losing integrity and credibility… ultimately trust. These points in a situation have always forced me to think about the collateral damage of trying to avoid a vulnerable moment. I always came to the same conclusion – it wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Trust, honesty, truth, directness… by the way/reminder – I am a Scorpio. (For the astrology-illiterate, Scorpios don’t like to “beat around the bush”).

Even then, I’m reminded of lyrics from one of my favorite songs to feel (and one of my favorite songs I love to sing [especially harmonizing]):

“What would you do if I took those words away? More than words to show…”
– Extreme “More Than Words”

In deeper abstract situations, even the only words you could express to define the truth may fail to (for lack of better words =) make the sale. How much more true could you be with actions creating direct results?

For the average of situations in this blog post, let’s return to the point where words are still acceptable.

As stated earlier, there is very little in my spectrum of understanding of communication that is more appreciated than the moment of truth that I have the opportunity to express truth with nothing extra. Raw and vulnerable. Direct and unclouded.

It helps those I reach out for help to provide a better answer. It helps those who don’t understand where I am coming from better understand.

It helps those who don’t know better to know better.

I’ve seen the Mac King show in Vegas and was amazed. I saw other people in the audience were amazed as well.

I have never seen a reaction to the same flourishes and distraction regarding a communication matter needing directness that was equal to that.

It especially doesn’t work when the want of truth is responded with omission… and yet people still do it.

People will create extra verbal action to avoid the raw truth just to avoid vulnerability. It will possibly create extra time but it will possibly create extra pain when the truth is finally revealed.

The ultimate “magic trick” I have been trying to perfect is to evoke an extra appreciative response from being precisely as truthful as necessary…

…nothing extra.

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