New outlook. New job. New music. New stresses. Working on all of that.
Life is constantly happening. Something is happening. Always.
Hunger in life is a feeling that follows a heavy stagnant period in my life. Unfortunately, I don’t pull that hunger out of thin air whenever I want. It has to be induced from a really low point. People can talk me into it but honestly, that doesn’t happen too often. Whichever comes first. I bought an astrology (don’t judge me) book for cheap recently and only one section applies to me but it is very thorough. If you readers can understand and relate to something you may not believe in, it’s not necessarily about the belief but the intention behind the words and suggestions of how to feel better fulfilled. For me, this particular book is really resonating with who I’ve been. The patterns I fall into and coming out with the same results. I can be pretty stubborn about changing my way of thinking, mostly about who I am, how I imagine I want people to perceive me, and how to get there. This book, and other reading material, has been really eye-opening. Now there’s actual work to be done.
I recently talked on the phone with the guy I’m going to be working under with this stagehand job at the Concord Pavilion. We discussed my audio tech background, and that can and does come into play later but for now, it’s going to be a lot of loading and unloading. Lifting. I’ve never really been a lifter. Short Filipino guy, never really went hard at the gym. I wonder what job they’ll put me on then. Anyways, he told me that this is the bottom of the ladder and I can definitely climb to being more involved in the sound tech spots for the Pavilion, with more proficiency in understanding the system. I have a few concerts in September I am going to attend at the Concord Pavilion… and now I’m wondering if I even had to buy tickets. Eh, no wondering in retrospect. It’s not useful thinking that way. Now, there’s actual work to be done.
These music projects I started earlier this year have been in and out of life just like I have due to a rollercoaster of things. Have been making progress recently and that’s all I really want to say about that now. I hate over-hyping something that has just been pushed back more and more so for now, let me just say it’s still going. Now, there’s actual work to be done.
It always seems that new developments happen all at the same time, that is, when not much is happening. As soon as you find a door that is welcoming you specifically, you open it and it immediately opens a few more. Moderation in receiving opportunities should be exercised. I don’t like the feeling of stretching myself thin by giving in to so many possibilities at once and then later having to cut one or more off due to overwhelming life. With new opportunities comes new stresses and with new stresses comes new changes. In my case, I only change when it can be of benefit to me. If I change and it benefits someone else, that’s not a worthy change for me. So with these new changes in outlook comes a drastically needed thought pattern change. Stress management. Reaction management. I have learned quite a bit about myself in reactions this year. I go from motivated to unmotivated in one setback. I go from jealous to self-deprecation in a nanosecond. I go from present to withdrawn in one “Okay, I’ve said too much.”. A lot of insight and messages for me relating to “Just go with the flow.” this year. I love it! Best influences ever. So I receive those suggestions and take them into consideration to be applied. Now, there’s actual work to be done.
I think that’s about it for now.
It seems people will always have periods of necessary trial-and-error favoring the errors that will ultimately make them have to change in a rather big, personal way. It seems 2016 has been the transformational year I thought it would be but not necessarily in the way I wanted it to be. It’s only August. I have a few months left… if that’s the goal. It’s not necessarily a deadline situation so that’s not the goal. The goal is just to keep going and balancing things in the best way I can.
Out of nothing, life can turn into an overwhelming life.
When you find your stride, you can get to a point where you feel like you are the one overwhelming life!