With all of the things I mentioned previously that I have that don’t have too deep of a sentimental value, I forgot about something: pictures.
It doesn’t matter if it’s film-developed or in the digital domain, I DO feel emotional about certain pictures I look at.
I get reminded of family members that have passed and the exact moments in the pictures with them. I get reminded of friends I haven’t seen in person in years. Thanks to Facebook and social media in general, I get to keep in touch with them. I often think about how it would have been nice to be there with them during key moments. I look back in yearbooks and remember certain faces that… I decided not to connect with on Facebook because of a certain negative feeling, one way or another, left between us.
Friendships that faded. Connections I thought were friendships that really weren’t. Missed opportunities. People I wronged in unfortunate ways.
I see certain pictures and I feel my chest sink a bit.
Even online, when I see certain friends post pictures, I wish I could do better as a friend to make an effort to see them again.
There has been a plateau and steady decline in steady friendship moments for me. Circumstances of life and growing up… and growing apart.
I mean, it makes me sad but it’s not depressing as if there’s no hope for the future still.
It’s not to the point where I hope I eventually feel nothing with a sense of detachment from seeing the pictures… but rather to the point I hope I can erase this detachment by distance eventually.