I have recently gotten back into a pattern of looking at and reading a lot of quotes and articles about relationships on the internet with emphasis on social media accounts I’m following.
I feel like I’m 20 again because of it.
Maybe I am still not getting the separation of concepts, if there is any, or maybe they aren’t mutually exclusive but I’m still getting confused by the language.
There’s a pretty consistent stream of quotes about “loving yourself” before you can fully love another. An enhanced version of those posts add in the idea that you don’t necessarily “need” love from anybody else because of that. It seems like a post targeted for people who are desperate to an extreme of dependency which I know is unhealthy. If both parties in a relationship feel so complete and love themselves enough to not need to find love with another, wouldn’t that be something that would dissuade any attempts at a deeper relationship?
I can feel the people who might be reading this who understand the concept already are just ready to enlighten me… and by all means, do so please.
Then there are the articles about everybody being broken or damaged a little. The imperfections of being a human. I know this. These articles go into the ideas that there is someone for everyone. A complimentary love. The voids you have, another can help you fill. They can help you feel complete again. They will be your right hand or your crutch when you need them.
I can sense this can be limiting when it comes to only seeing someone as useful for a few things you may feel you need a complimentary person in your life for.
Then there are the posted pieces that have one person being pretty hopeless, stuck in the dark, lost beyond self-correction, that takes the “complimentary love” concept to the extreme of “need”. “There is someone for everyone.” in this case is taken to the full “knight in shining armor” will carry the “damsel in distress”, or “caring woman” carries the “broken man” from self-destruction out of the bondage of broken-ness.
I imagine it’s nice to be in a relationship. I imagine it’s nice to find a mutual connection. I imagine it’d be nice to feel complete and have the option to willingly let yourself fall in love without needing it. I imagine it’d be nice to even just find somebody who can fill certain empty pieces of your being. I imagine it’d be greatly appreciated for someone to catch you at your worst before falling into oblivion and love you back to ascension and stay by your side.
I imagine it all can work any of these ways… and more.
And maybe it’s my habit of taking words and ideas too literally as to believe there is an exact line between these concepts, but I’m wondering if the emphasis put on these ideas in different articles is strictly for targeting people looking for these specific ideas individually just to feel better about a very specific situation in their lives. You know, “looking to find” on the internet. Of course they will find the exact thing to make them feel better.
I sometimes wish I could be the knight in shining armor. Other times, I simply wish to find someone with enough in common with me to have a nice foundation of connection and build from there. I think more times than those other two ideas, I wish for a moment where I didn’t feel like I was connecting with someone on anything but yet they were the thing I needed to bring a fresh me out of me.
That last one brings in a sense of surprise that would negate my previous fruitless attempts at being attracted to certain types, but also brings a sort of caution. I don’t know if I would like someone who wasn’t connecting with me at the same level on something like music. It’s a universal thing people like but it can get very specific between two people’s taste… and that might be a difficult thing… for the other person… to feel comfortable with all of the music I like =P
Or maybe not.
I guess that’s the beauty of such a thing and blindly walking into uncharted territory for yourself with very minimal previous experience.
If you think about it, you can get into a relationship any way, expected or unexpected.
A relationship would be nice any way. A relationship would be nice anyway.