I woke up this morning, looking over at my non-prescription glasses.
Since they are non-prescription, they are not helpful for my 20/20 vision. They are strictly an accessory. For a moment, I had forgotten why I bought them. I remembered it was an impulse buy but with what idea in mind?
I feel like the general reason was “nerd chic” or whatever it’s called. The fad to look like an extremely studious college student. Thinking about that, though, I don’t really wear stereotypical “studious college student” apparel often.
Let me type my way through this…
When I wear the glasses, I usually wear them to places or events where there is likely to be a lot of females. Did you see that coming? Not just any females, females that probably hold themselves to a certain standard and a mature mindset.
With the glasses on, I feel like Clark Kent. A subdued version of myself but presentable for all normal social situations. They are like a mask for my eyes, but also a gag ball on my personality. Sure, I’ll act in a way that actually is part of my personality that I want to portray, but it’s a bit too diluted. It’s polite. It’s courteous. It’s jokes are light. It’s small talk. It’s business. It’s… it’s… pretty fucking boring.
That’s not why I bought them…
At that place in being social, that is not the endgame of those glasses. That’s just where they seem normal. That’s where they fit, on that dull side of my personality spectrum. I wasn’t wearing those glasses and living as that version of me for that moment. I was wearing those glasses for beyond that, the part where the conversation gets a little more… intimate.
It’s generally understood that women will have fantasies of romantic moments when some anonymous man appears and in a very minimal amount of words exchanged, amorous feelings and unbridled passion are released in a fervorous intertwining of bodies and souls.
Men do the same thing.
How does this relate to my glasses?
See, the glasses do not represent any sort of want to be “socially acceptable”. To me, they aren’t even the accessory I wear them as just to accent my look.
The glasses are my want of a moment of unbridled passion. The glasses are my want to release the sensual side I have hidden for many years. A side that has been inhibited by ideas of associating it with predation and perversity.
I, of conscious mind, though, know I would never be so extreme with such a thing. If you are someone wo really knows me, you’d understand why I couldn’t take myself to the darkest places of sexuality.
BUT, I have always wanted to express my sexuality and sensual side. Obviously, I’m a guy and want such a thing but it didn’t have the same meaning through high school, college, unto now. Back in high school, I knew what an… arrival… felt like. Simple-minded sexual exploration, I get why people wanted that feeling. So, I tried to be flirtatious for a short period of time. Eh, it didn’t get me anywhere
Don’t worry, I’ll get back to the glasses.
Over time, I started watching certain things and understanding certain ideas. Mainly the idea of creating sexual tension. Foreplay, mental and physical.
At a young and inexperienced age, I can honestly say I fell in love with the idea.
I didn’t abandon the ideas of “cute” situations, crushes, dialogue of shyness and trying from a place of innocence and inexperience. It’s just that I understood at some point, there needed to be something more. There was definitely something more.
My zodiac sign is Scorpio. If you follow astrology, you’ll know that Scorpio has been associated with the word “passion” deeply. Could it be true?
I often have these day/dreams of “the moment”. The moment where I am ready and it is mutually comfortable… scratch that… uncontainable between both me and this unforeseen woman of our indulging in the moment. It is not soundtracked in mind by strings and piano, or harps and a flute. This is a bit edgier than that. This is overdriven but labored and building. It will result in ecstasy and sweat.
The glasses I bought were not bought just to be worn. They were bought for the moment when I can take them off and reveal the true nature of my eyes seeing into another’s soul and finding myself in another. Finding that moment where we can both be uninhibited, creating a beautiful moment using what we already had inside just waiting for another wanting to uncage this animal. The fire that wants to burn not out of desperation but out of coincidental interesecting paths and genuinely discovering another person to a depth not seen nor discussed in casual, that starts with a spark and results in a blaze of passion.
My glasses are not my want to have them on.
My glasses are my want to take them off.