Delete… Lest I Reveal My(absolute wrong)self…

As a person born in the last 2 decades of the 20th century, I have caught on to this technological connectivity pretty well.

The few-and-far-between get-togethers dependent on phone calls and scheduling over those phones that were connected to a wall in your house – only to be answered when you were home – were replaced by the wireless mobile phone network. “Hey, I’m out and about but we can still talk about meeting up sooner than later!”.

At the same time, while we were home, we didn’t want to run up our traditional phone bill. Then the phone bill turned into the mainstreaming of internet bill, America Online (or Prodigy or Compuserve). “Wow, now we can stay in communication a lot more and we don’t have to hold a device up to our head!”

Eventually, the advancement in modulation of binary code made the amount of data getting transferred increase exponentially. Pictures could be sent. Audio and video could be sent… then streamed… LIVE.

Then the hybridization of the mobile and internet technologies – making the mobile phone smart.

The immediacy of answers to questions…
The expansion of curiosity creating questions we may or may not have thought to ask in a longer period of time…

At some point, the curiosity of wondering who people really are would hit this plateau through this digital domain that would be just over “I wonder if so-and-so does/thinks but I probably shouldn’t pry” and just short of “Stalker”. This point is social media. Voluntary information upload as to express who you are (and usually, ironically, end up typing how it isn’t really who you are).

I have realized as of late that though I would like people to get to know me better, I should keep myself in check of posting something regrettable exposing a vulnerability just because I’m wanting to relate to others.

I am learning how hard it is to try and base, sustain and maintain relationships strictly through the digital domain. I’ve been on social media for years and still have to learn this lesson.

My family and friends that I do see in person often enough have this sort of split understanding of my digital person and my “in real life” person.

My online self is more likely to reveal the semi-depressive state of loneliness at the moment I’m online usually by myself in a room.
My in-person self is more likely to reveal the genuine serotonin boost of having to be social with people that are family and friends or just friendly people.

Impulsive posting in an emotional state may be revealing of truth but I sometimes let out too much truth for it to be still categorized as healthy. Things that reciprocate negativity – yuck.

It’s not that I want to be enigmatic online. It’s more that I don’t want to be misrepresented or misinterpreted even more online than I can be in person.

Now if you’re thinking in a parallel fashion, yes, the same goes for the saccharin side of things.

I intend to use social media as casually as possible. Not depend on it as an exclusive form of communication.

Unfortunately, I have friendships and business relationships founded strictly in this domain.

Abandon the connections or maintain a temporary exclusive image?

So the lesser of two evils prevails: Delete… lest I reveal my(absolute wrong)self and at the same time my(absolute true)self.



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