Oh, well then… who am I?

Tonight, one mystery unsolved and another just beginning.

A little curiosity of mine was revealed… a little.

A new curiosity that actually was old but then faded has made itself… anew. (Close sentence structure pattern but no cigar Gabe, “A” for effort?)

Okay, enough with the little sentence games.

Sometimes I feel like an outcast, separated from the group, black sheep, not in the club, etc. etc.
I used to think it was me because there was something nobody liked about me.
It’s true… kind of. They don’t like that they don’t know me.
Initially, usually, I am the outsider being brought into a new group through a friend.
So I said they don’t like me because they don’t know me.
I also said that initially I am the outsider being brought in by a friend.
They don’t know me, I’m not being brought in, and I’m not good enough of a friend… if my friend doesn’t introduce me.
The other person in a conversation introduced their cousin but on this side… no, I couldn’t be introduced.
I’m not good enough to be introduced?
But I just called them my friend.

Might I be making it too big of a deal?

When people feel left out, they feel like there is something wrong with them. People usually do distance themselves from what they think is different or weird and then the “left out” side tries to figure out what they did or why they deserved that. I think that there is not a whole lot wrong with the “left out” side. I think there is more of a problem with the people who decide to leave out others for some kind of social advantage like acceptability or a reputation.

I’m feeling like I’m being left out because I am a threat to their reputation. Maybe it’s like survivor where the stronger skilled ones are the competition to get rid of. Possibly jealousy of what I have to offer outside of offering help to them.

They have admitted lacking in social interaction, and I have tried to help with advice.

Maybe the advice, they understood, could be weapons of mass reputation destruction if I were to use them on their friends. Maybe they’re afraid I might expose something, unknowing there was a front on their part they hid behind for a certain look they wanted to achieve.

In fact, they have admitted to me that they getting mistaken for some other style of person because of the mask they put on. The mask includes an urbanized accent and a swagger with their walk… but their wit is still lacking and that’s when it gets revealed, they aren’t as much as was first thought.

So my feeling of left out isn’t paranoia and it isn’t totally my fault.

My friend is leaving me out.

I could, though, introduce myself and make it known that I am not just a shadow to a bad actor…
That I am not just the ghost writer of this production duo…
That I am not just some guy who considers someone as shady as they a friend…

…and if that’s true, then I am and should be considered somebody to them.

But friendships come and go.

It just might be time to go.

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